Girlfriend 1.0 software
Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee1.0).
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
TV is better than WWW
The top ten reasons why the television is better than the World Wide Web
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
Would you define OCR?
OCR - Optical Character Recognition
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
The Jeweler and The Shoplifter
A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store.
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
10 reasons computers must be Males
10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
Presidential Bird
Hillary Clinton went into a pet shop and found a beautiful parrot. "Does this parrot talk?" she asked. "Yes, he does," the manager told her. "But why is this one only $50 and all the others are $500?" "Well, ma'am," the manager explained, "not everyone would want to own this parrot since he spent years in a whore house and his language is somewhat foul."
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
Bill Clinton's Going To Die?
During a recent public outing, Hillary slipped off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news.
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
Wrong Pig
Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Bill told his driver to go up to the farm house and explain to the owners what had happened.
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
Your Clock's Spinning
A guy dies and goes to heaven. It's a slow day for St. Peter, so, upon passing the entrance test, St. Peter says, "I'm not very busy today, why don't you let me show you around?" The guy thinks this is a great idea and graciously accepts the offer.
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
Who Is Listening
During the first year of marriage, the husband speaks and the wife hears.
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
Knowing Your Husband
How do you call a wife who
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
Love And War
Make love not war.
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
The Last Word
A man to his friend: "At my house I always say the last word".
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
Punishment
Pupil: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
Blondes and UFOs
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
Bad News
A Doctor tells a patient: “I have bad news for you. You have cancer and Alzhiemer’s disease”.
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
Blonde's Pain
A blonde touches her knee with her finger and yells Ouch. The same with her elbow and ear.
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
Lawyers
Q: What do lawyers use as birth-control?
A: Their personalities.
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
Fired
Boss: You are Fired!
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
Bus With Politicians
A busload of politicians were driving down a country road, when suddenly the bus ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's barn.
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
The Art Of Speech
In a speech today about Hurricane Rita, President Bush declared, quote, 'This is a big storm.'
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
Iraqis On Star Trek
The Iraqi Ambassador to the UN was walking down the hallway and bumped into President Bush.
Hoping to break the ice with an innocuous comment, the ambassador quickly said, "Respectfully, sir. I have a question about what I’ve seen in America."
Politely, President Bush answered, "If I can help explain things to you, please let me know."
The Iraqi whispered. "My little girl watches this show called 'Star Trek' and in this show, there’s Chekov who is a Russian, Scotty who is Scottish, Sulu who is Chinese… but there aren't any Iraqis. Why aren’t there any Iraqis on Star Trek?".
President Bush whispered back to the ambassador, "It's because Star Trek takes place in the future." (Read more...)
|
 |
|
John Darling
The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked him.
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
Sweeping the Store
A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "your first job will be to sweep out the store."
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
Bush and Son
A reporter cornered George W. Bush at a press conference:
(Read more...)
|
 |
|
|
|
